My dad surprised me today by taking Molly for the afternoon. I dropped her off and realized that I had an entire 6 hours to myself. No school. No work. No baby. I was tickled.
I went straight to Target to shop. Though we have no money - I couldn't help myself. I had to get Molly something for her birthday anyway, so I found my justification.
On my way into Target there was about 45 seconds from my car to the store where I walked with an iced coffee in one hand and a cigarette between two fingers and I remembered what it was like to be a single woman with no children, and I smiled. It felt really nice. I love my life. I would never trade it for anything in the world. I love my daughter and I have found a great love for motherhood. This is all so very true. But it was those few moments where I felt I had absolutely no obligation, no agenda, no responsibility and I felt free. I am not sure I would ever be able to appreciate that moment of freedom if I hadn't had children. And in the same moment, I do not ever think I would appreciate the life of my daughter and motherhood if it weren't for the moment where I did not have Dominic. Nonetheless, it felt really good.
I have cleaned my house and my windows are open as it is 70 degrees in July. It is absolutely gorgeous out and this weather is definitely my favorite.
Those moments are such treasures...almost impossible to describe. Although the moment is fleeting, the feeling of that moment sticks & is so wonderful to return to & be grateful for...<3
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