i am annoyed.

for some reason the shift key on the left side of my computer isn't working.  it bugs me when i can't capitalize things.

i have these two girls that, for some reason, have beef with me and it's annoying.  somehow, they did something whack - and they're too self absorbed, guilty, and pathetic to be a big person and move forward.  rather, they create scenarios in their mind - run their mouths to people that they think won't tell me, and block me from facebook.  it's a shame that they live their lives this way.  i, literally, squashed the issue (when they did their shitty thing) and, for some reason, the drama continues.  it's bizarre when you go about your drama free life and yet, continuously hear stories from others about certain bar flies that have nothing else to do with their time.  it makes me sad for them.

working sundays is pointless as we never get customers.  it's a waste of time and money and it irks me that i work most every sunday morning.  i understand why i do, as it would be mean to make anyone else work - i just don't understand why we aren't closed sundays.  meh.

i have one month left of the semester and i have yet to start on any of my papers.  i keep telling myself that i am going to make progress and i never do.  i have become annoying to myself.

i'm just annoyed with it all, basically.

An overdue post

I just love being a mom.  Molly is such a good baby and Ray and I adore her.  My life has been so busy with school, work, and Molly that I haven't had time to blog about anything.

Molly is 8 weeks old and it feels like I gave birth yesterday.  Time is flying.  She is reaching all of the appropriate milestones, which is an achievement in itself considering she was 1 month premature.  She just melts my soul.

I have found myself missing Dominic a lot lately.  I miss him a lot all of the time, so I suppose I should rephrase that to, I've been feeling more waves of sadness over the loss of Dominic lately.  Sometimes I just stare at Molly while she's sleeping and feel sad that her big brother isn't here.  I would give anything to see how they would have been together.  I miss him so much.

I have been utilizing everyone in our lives that want to help out with Molly and I am realizing that it does take a village to raise a child.  I could not imagine being a single mother.  It must be the hardest job on the planet.

I have only 11 more classes before I graduate.  I can graduate in Dec. '13, but I think I'm going to stretch it out until May '14.  The closer I get to being done, the more scared I get about my career.  In some aspects I still feel like  a child, not knowing what I want to be when I grow up.

Ray and I are doing great.  We work great together with Molly, and he is such a good dad.  I love seeing his face when he holds Molly.

I am looking forward to the holidays and taking time off of school and work to be with the family.  My parents are just smitten with Molly and she is already spoiled.

Things are really, really good.

midnight city

running up that hill

She's here!

August 17, at 4:27pm Molly Jo Louise Phillips was born!  8 lbs 6 oz, 20 inches long!  She has turned my world upside down.  I have never been more happy, emotional, exhausted, ........ everything.... ever!  She is in the NICU for a few more days because her healthy pancreas was creating more insulin than needed after she was born because it was use to providing that much when I was carrying her.  She's overly healthy and that's, essentially, why she's in there.  She's amazing.  I have never felt a love like this, it's a bit overwhelming.

Ray and I have never been more smitten in our lives.  We cannot wait to bring her home.

It's go time.

Tomorrow is the day that we are inducing labor.  Her lung maturity was checked today and she exceeded the standard.  I cannot wait to meet her.  I am so nervous and anxious.  This is like, the biggest present ever.  She may be born on my mother's birthday.  Excitement is an understatement.  Ugh.