Wow. It has been a very long time since I have blogged. So much has been going on. First, I am just a little over 31 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child. This was very unexpected and certainly a surprise - especially because I was on birth control (again). I, of course, am nervous and anxious and worried and all of that, but I am excited too. Thus far, the pregnancy is going well. My numbers are looking good and I am hoping to have this little guy out of my belly in about 5-6 weeks. Though I am not 100% sure, I am considering getting a tubal ligation to prevent me from having any more children - ever again. The finality of it all makes me hesitant, but I am just not sure that I can do all of this again.
Finding a name was quite the struggle. Our 2 children have 2 middle names, so we have basically run out of anything that just 'came to us'. We couldn't agree on ANYTHING and the struggle was real. I don't even think we settled on a name until well past 20 wks. Finding out the sex of the baby always helps, but in this case - the boys names were the ones we were struggling with the most. Go figure. It appears that we conceived this little one around the time Naked Raygun played in South Bend (June 2014). They're one of my all - time favorite bands, so we considered naming him Regan, Raygun, and other slightly different spelling versions. We considered Max, Duke, and a few others - but again, we just weren't excited about any name. When I was pregnant with Molly, and before we knew she was a girl, we had thought that if she were a boy, we'd name her Owen Matthew. We re-visited that option and again - completely indifferent. Again, when Molly was just a bundle of cells, we considered Lucas Matthew for a boy. I loved it, but Ray HATED it. Basically, when we found out we were having a girl, it was a much easier decision.
Since we re-visited Owen Matthew, I threw out Lucas Matthew, again. Actually, I think Ray may have suggested it. I reminded him that he really didn't like that name but as always, with time - feelings change. I loved the name so much years ago when we first considered it because the name Lucas was the name of Ray's best friend in high school who passed away due to epilepsy. Matthew was the name of my best friend who passed away a few (4) years ago. I am a big fan of naming our children after people that are important to us, so I was all for it immediately. Ray, not so much. Well, this time, Ray was into it. So, Lucas Matthew it shall be. But then I realized that our 2 other children have 2 middle names. Dominic Raymond Danger and Molly Jo Louise. How odd to have that and then just Lucas Matthew. I really liked the idea of throwing in a favorite band or musician because we both love music and certain musicians and bands have shaped who we are as individuals. Though I loved the idea of putting Raygun in there as a way to influence him in the future on really good, basic punk rock music - I just didn't like the flow of it. Ray suggested Grohl, as he is a big fan of the Foo Fighters and Dave Grohl. Personally, I'm not a big fan of the Foo Fighters, but I do like Dave Grohl, and I love Nirvana, so what a great way to incorporate a name that, I feel, will live on through the test of time and good music as Dave Grohl (both mainstream and independent). At the time of the name discussion, Ray and I had been watching Sonic Highways - a docu-series created by Dave Grohl in regards to music throughout American History and certain states and how they were influenced by certain music. Well, what do you know? Dave Grohl highlights Naked Raygun in Chicago and tributes them to being the first real live show he'd ever been to, thus inspiring him to be in a punk band at 14 years old. He holds Jeff Pezzati in high regard, so I thought it was perfect. Done. Lucas Matthew Grohl, it is. I can't wait to meet him.
Work is going very well. We are considering buying a house. We actually found our dream house, but I'm not sure it's going to work in our favor. We have also considered living in an apartment for a year or two in order to save more money and allow time to build my credit to get a bigger loan. We have done a great job at saving money and it's the first time in my life that I've had this much in savings. Having two incomes is quite a difference.
Katy moved to Oregon in August and will be coming home to visit at the end of March to meet Luke. It's been 7 months since she left and it really has flown by. I found out I was pregnant just about 1 week after she moved, so I guess it really has been a long time. I'm hoping her time here doesn't fly by. I'm sure we can slow things down a bit by sitting on the couch all day and just eating and being lazy.
Tommorow will mark one year since the passing of DJ. We are currently raising funds and working toward building a sensory garden in his name. This is going to be a very big and expensive project. I am really excited to take the kids to see it. It's been a struggle without DJ. My dad has visited his grave everyday since he passed. I've actually heard that recently he has been going twice a day. It just breaks my heart. I am just really hoping Luke gets here safe and gives my family hope and happiness again. Cyndi's mom has been in very bad health and she has not been able to meet Molly yet. She has sent cards and money and celebrated her from afar, but she's been sick since Molly's been born and we haven't been able to connect. I am hoping that she is able to get better enough to meet her soon. It's not looking so positive, and that is just another thing my sister and Cyndi have to deal with. Merrily is seriously the nicest person I have ever known and I just hope she can feel like herself one day soon.
Molly is amazing and growing so fast. She is talking really well and displaying more and more her own personality and quirks. I am very sad that she won't be the only one running around the house soon. I'm sad that all of my attention won't be focused on her. I know she's going to be a great big sister though. She is so caring and kind and compassionate. She is truly my entire life. I could squeeze her to bits.
Sometimes I look at my life and can't even believe it's for real. I never really believed that I would have my own family. It's so strange. Ray and I have been making so many decision lately that have OUR families best interest at heart and it's a really surreal feeling to have. He is such a good dad and a really great partner. It's been 7 years already since we began this crazy adventure. I can't wait to see what the next 7 look like.
No comments:
Post a Comment