some of the best gifts you can't wrap in pretty little boxes.

Ugh.  It looks like Crayola barfed all over my page.  I'm too lazy to change it (again) this morning.

I have officially moved all of my stuff back home.  Actually, Ray moved all of my stuff back in - because he's got retard strength and is absolutely amazing.  All in all, it only took him a total of 3 van trips to get it all back to the house.  This was by far the best Christmas gift ever.

We unloaded my stuff and ordered a pizza.  Dined in our living room surrounded by boxes and mindlessly chatted.  The dogs were really excited to see the arrival of all of my junk.  Beatrice acted like she hadn't seen me in days, when it had only been one.  And I could tell that they knew exactly what was happening. We were a family, once again.  Not that we had stopped, but once I had moved out "family time" turned into "visits" and "overnight stays".  I know that they're just dogs, but they sensed that this move is a very good thing.

I thought we'd be done for the evening.  It's was a little pass 7 o'clock and I knew Ray was exhausted from working all day immediately followed by hauling my junk.  He must have caught a second wind because he got up and started shuffling everything around in it's proper position.  We had to change up the family room since we now have an entire room we have to surrender to the baby (which was a bit of a struggle, at first, for Ray - but he quickly relinquished the control and succumbed to the fact that we're having another human being join our lives very soon).  We cleared out (for the most part) what was once our office and merged it into the family room.  We set up our bed and he made sure to lift and relocate all of the heavy items into their appropriate places, knowing that I wouldn't be able to do it myself - today.  It was 11 o'clock before I couldn't take anymore and went to bed.

For this entire process (and even now) I had this overwhelming feeling of right.  This felt right.  This was home.  Not this house, but with him.  Like I said earlier, best Christmas present ever.

For today, while Ray is at work, I will continue to clean and unpack and rebuild the home we once shared together.  My sister is coming over to help and I am so very excited.

I work the next 3 days in a row, have one day off, then work 1 more day before my week of absolutely nothing.  I am hoping to get the house in order and the Christmas tree up before this time so that I can focus on finishing buying gifts and wrapping them.

Moving out for only 3 months may have been a really good decision.  It was appropriate at that specific time and it now seems to have made me appreciate our life together even more - now.

I am starting to think that everything really does happen for a reason.

First day of winter break

I woke up abnormally early for someone who is on winter break.  But, I woke up WITH Buddy snuggled next to me.  I ate eggs and watched the news whilst drinking coffee.  I've trolled around on the interwebs and I will probably lay down for a nap soon.

It's 9a.m.

I'd say so far the first few hours of my winter break have been successful.

I have a superhero for a boyfriend

He's really strong and tough.  And he moved half of my stuff in just one load.

He's so dreamy.

I'm really nothing you want to take seriously.

I mean, seriously.

cold coffee talk

I have my very last final today.  It's for ballet, so I'm not sure it entirely counts as a "final" for me.  Thing is, I spent an unexpected night at Ray's last night - and do not have my leotard or any other acceptable ballet attire here.  The roads are snowy and I simply don't want to go home to get acceptable ballet attire, so it will be interesting to see what I come up with to wear.

Speaking of "home" - the word has become an interesting concept to me as of lately.  I live not with Ray (woah, hello Yoda), yet I find myself referring to his house as home all of the time.  I suppose home really is where the heart is - or some dumb shit like that.  Nevertheless, I am moving back in with Ray this week. Matter of fact, after ballet I am picking Buddy up to spend my last few days with him before I move back in.  Living with Ray (and Stza - mostly) doesn't really allow for me to just take Buddy whenever I want to. Which is the only downfall to living with Ray - or, going back home.  It's quite the catch 22 for me, actually.

I miss Buddy all of the time and hate the way the custody is arranged - or however you want to put it.  But I am grateful that his main home is good and he has a friend to play with.  Otherwise, I'm sure it could be much worse.  So regardless of how sad I get sometimes because I miss him and I know he misses me - I think that for now, this is the best arrangement we could have made for him.  I would love to have him around all of the time when the baby's here, however.  He would just love being around a baby (after the jealousy wears off - I'm sure).

I asked to pick up more shifts during my break - and it doesn't look like it's going to happen.  I understand as I have been the scheduling manager before - but damn - I've never been on the part-time server side before, and it kind of sucks.  I've even asked to pick up other's shifts and no one is budging.  I will be broke, but that's okay.  At least I'll be at home - and not spending money.

I still need to get a few more gifts for Christmas.  Ugh.  I am, however, really excited for Ray this Christmas.  My family really went all out for him this year.  Last year was awesome.  They really accepted him and bought gifts that showed it.  But this year is insane with the gifts he's receiving.  I am really, really, excited for him to open them.

Yesterday, immediately after my finals, I went to Ma's house to bake cookies.  Christi brought Jerry and the whole family came over.  All of the kids went sledding, and we had a blast.  At one point, I felt like it was Home Alone with all of the madness.  But madness is good.  In my humble opinion, anyway.  Tomorrow is technically my first day of break, it will be filled with packing, packing, and more packing.  I am so excited.

I turn 30 in 12 days.  And I'll be home to do so.  I have a feeling that this is going to be the best Christmas yet.  Well, until next year, anyway - when Dominic's here.  I can't wait to be a mom.

a brief reflection.

I took my Methods of Research final yesterday, I was pleased to do so because this then meant my main finals were over next Monday.  Today, I went to water aerobics and was told that our instructor cancelled next week and I do not have to attend.  This makes me a very happy girl.  Very, very happy.

I have only 3 finals left.  Spanish, Statistics, and Ballet.  I also have a composition I need to type up for Spanish and then I am finished for the semester.  I have never been so excited to be done - I need to breathe.

This semester was a difficult one.  Not only were my classes challenging, but Ray and I kinda broke up, I moved out, we got back together, I found out I was pregnant, things got really good with Ray and I, and we struggled with NOT living together.  I had to alter my position with roller derby and I coached our first bout ever.  I am in desperate need of a break.  And I get one.  I am taking an entire week off for Christmas - this means no work AND no school.  I am biting at the bit for the day to come where I can sleep in, bake cookies, eat good food, and be with friends and family without worrying about homework or waking up early for work.  I need to mentally prepare myself for the next semester and the arrival of the baby.  Insane how much a life can change in just a year - or even a second.

This pregnancy was not planned.  It had been discussed, but in no way had we ever thought I would get pregnant while being on birth control.  According to my due date, we apparently conceived the weekend that we went camping and discussed getting pregnant with my family.  It was that weekend that Ray said I could get off of the pill if I wanted to - just to see what happens.  I left there thinking about it - all of the pros and cons.  I was fully engulfed in derby at the time and didn't really want to give it up just yet for a baby. School was always in the back of my mind, but I knew and felt it to be better to get pregnant while in school as opposed to waiting until I had to find a career that would allow for me to have a newborn.  Derby was my main reason for not wanting to get off of the pill.  And so I decided against it.  I was not going to try to get pregnant.  And I did.  I got pregnant.  All by chance.

The new year is approaching and soon it will be 2011.  The last 3-4 years has been a whirlwind of life changes and evolving as a person.  Last year I thought the insanity of life changes was coming to a stop and I could finally breathe.  I was wrong.  These changes are doing nothing more than forcing me to grow up.  And I actually like it.

I turn 30 in 17 days.  I just can't believe it.  I am really excited to leave my 20's behind on a good note and move forward to my 30's.  I really feel like my 20's allowed for me to gain the life experiences that I need to proceed with my future.  I had a blast, I achieved and failed, hurt and got hurt, lived and most importantly - learned.

I haven't been this content and happy in years.

I want to be friends with the Gregory Brothers, and maybe Antoine Dodson - a little.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw&feature=related



These two are my absolute favorite.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBb4cjjj1gI

I'm up super early and am killing time before class.  So, here's another favorite.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/113207/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-shy-ronnie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avaSdC0QOUM

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/8d848ed06e/mother-lover-uncensored


Okay, that's all.  Have a nice day.