a brief reflection.

I took my Methods of Research final yesterday, I was pleased to do so because this then meant my main finals were over next Monday.  Today, I went to water aerobics and was told that our instructor cancelled next week and I do not have to attend.  This makes me a very happy girl.  Very, very happy.

I have only 3 finals left.  Spanish, Statistics, and Ballet.  I also have a composition I need to type up for Spanish and then I am finished for the semester.  I have never been so excited to be done - I need to breathe.

This semester was a difficult one.  Not only were my classes challenging, but Ray and I kinda broke up, I moved out, we got back together, I found out I was pregnant, things got really good with Ray and I, and we struggled with NOT living together.  I had to alter my position with roller derby and I coached our first bout ever.  I am in desperate need of a break.  And I get one.  I am taking an entire week off for Christmas - this means no work AND no school.  I am biting at the bit for the day to come where I can sleep in, bake cookies, eat good food, and be with friends and family without worrying about homework or waking up early for work.  I need to mentally prepare myself for the next semester and the arrival of the baby.  Insane how much a life can change in just a year - or even a second.

This pregnancy was not planned.  It had been discussed, but in no way had we ever thought I would get pregnant while being on birth control.  According to my due date, we apparently conceived the weekend that we went camping and discussed getting pregnant with my family.  It was that weekend that Ray said I could get off of the pill if I wanted to - just to see what happens.  I left there thinking about it - all of the pros and cons.  I was fully engulfed in derby at the time and didn't really want to give it up just yet for a baby. School was always in the back of my mind, but I knew and felt it to be better to get pregnant while in school as opposed to waiting until I had to find a career that would allow for me to have a newborn.  Derby was my main reason for not wanting to get off of the pill.  And so I decided against it.  I was not going to try to get pregnant.  And I did.  I got pregnant.  All by chance.

The new year is approaching and soon it will be 2011.  The last 3-4 years has been a whirlwind of life changes and evolving as a person.  Last year I thought the insanity of life changes was coming to a stop and I could finally breathe.  I was wrong.  These changes are doing nothing more than forcing me to grow up.  And I actually like it.

I turn 30 in 17 days.  I just can't believe it.  I am really excited to leave my 20's behind on a good note and move forward to my 30's.  I really feel like my 20's allowed for me to gain the life experiences that I need to proceed with my future.  I had a blast, I achieved and failed, hurt and got hurt, lived and most importantly - learned.

I haven't been this content and happy in years.