cold coffee talk

I have my very last final today.  It's for ballet, so I'm not sure it entirely counts as a "final" for me.  Thing is, I spent an unexpected night at Ray's last night - and do not have my leotard or any other acceptable ballet attire here.  The roads are snowy and I simply don't want to go home to get acceptable ballet attire, so it will be interesting to see what I come up with to wear.

Speaking of "home" - the word has become an interesting concept to me as of lately.  I live not with Ray (woah, hello Yoda), yet I find myself referring to his house as home all of the time.  I suppose home really is where the heart is - or some dumb shit like that.  Nevertheless, I am moving back in with Ray this week. Matter of fact, after ballet I am picking Buddy up to spend my last few days with him before I move back in.  Living with Ray (and Stza - mostly) doesn't really allow for me to just take Buddy whenever I want to. Which is the only downfall to living with Ray - or, going back home.  It's quite the catch 22 for me, actually.

I miss Buddy all of the time and hate the way the custody is arranged - or however you want to put it.  But I am grateful that his main home is good and he has a friend to play with.  Otherwise, I'm sure it could be much worse.  So regardless of how sad I get sometimes because I miss him and I know he misses me - I think that for now, this is the best arrangement we could have made for him.  I would love to have him around all of the time when the baby's here, however.  He would just love being around a baby (after the jealousy wears off - I'm sure).

I asked to pick up more shifts during my break - and it doesn't look like it's going to happen.  I understand as I have been the scheduling manager before - but damn - I've never been on the part-time server side before, and it kind of sucks.  I've even asked to pick up other's shifts and no one is budging.  I will be broke, but that's okay.  At least I'll be at home - and not spending money.

I still need to get a few more gifts for Christmas.  Ugh.  I am, however, really excited for Ray this Christmas.  My family really went all out for him this year.  Last year was awesome.  They really accepted him and bought gifts that showed it.  But this year is insane with the gifts he's receiving.  I am really, really, excited for him to open them.

Yesterday, immediately after my finals, I went to Ma's house to bake cookies.  Christi brought Jerry and the whole family came over.  All of the kids went sledding, and we had a blast.  At one point, I felt like it was Home Alone with all of the madness.  But madness is good.  In my humble opinion, anyway.  Tomorrow is technically my first day of break, it will be filled with packing, packing, and more packing.  I am so excited.

I turn 30 in 12 days.  And I'll be home to do so.  I have a feeling that this is going to be the best Christmas yet.  Well, until next year, anyway - when Dominic's here.  I can't wait to be a mom.