The longer I study the criminal justice system the more I realize I should probably move out of this country. Vancouver sounds good.
Tonight is the opening night of the Michiana Monologues. My piece is the opening piece and though I wish I had written it better and with the thought that it might actually get picked - I'm excited that it did. I scrambled to get it together before the deadline and I suppose the thought of it actually getting chosen to be read never really crossed my mind. Dur. Anyway, I'm going tonight to watch Hanah read it. I'm glad they gave the piece to a derby girl to read.
It's 57 degrees today and I am going to clean this house and my car. I can't wait.
Ray and I have been in birthing classes and watched a documentary last night on birthing in hospitals and just birthing in the US. It has really made me wish we had opted for a home birth. Mostly because I want a normal, natural birth without any interventions - and I know someone is just going to try to get me to take some medicine or give me a C section. Ray and I have a game plan to fight off these evils. I am, however, going to inform my mother and sister of my concerns and they're way more assertive than I, so I know if the doctors try doing anything sneaky - the girls will have my back. Maybe the next baby will be a home birth.
I had another dream about Matt last night. Probably because Katy was finally able to tell me all about his funeral. I am most certainly glad I did not attend. I would like a road trip, in time, to go visit his grave. Perhaps I will find my closure then. Maybe my dreams are being influenced by him and perhaps I should go see Alice soon. I don't know... It all still really sucks.
The baby shower is in a few days and I'm pretty excited. This heartburn has not gotten any better and I want to rip my throat out. The novelty of pregnancy has pretty much worn off.
I miss Buddy a whole hell of a lot. And I think about him, to great extend, every day. However, my acceptance of my losing him is getting easier. It still sucks, really really bad. But I know he's happy and safe and I will see him soon enough.
Today is Clem's birthday and I don't even want to think about how old he must be. I met him when he was 17 - which means I am old old. Ugh.
Ok. That's all.
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