The day of the divorced.

On Saturday Katy and I were driving to a gathering in her car.  She put a song on that she thought I would really like.  It prompted a conversation about another song that she and Shannon had played for me the day that I decided to divorce Garth.

I hadn't heard the song since that day, it was nearly 2 1/2 years ago and I never could remember what it was called or who sang it - and I always forgot to ask Shannon and Katy.  I finally remembered to ask and Katy also could not remember.  So I called Shannon.  After she told me the title and artist I said to her, "I just realized how weird it is that I decided to get a divorce while I was in a car with you and Katy."  Shannon replied, "Yea, what is even more weird is that you actually went through with it..., mostly because we say we're going to do a lot of things and never follow through with it."  We laughed and said our goodbyes.  This then made me recall the day I decided to get a divorce.

It was sometime in April of 2009.  Katy, Shannon, and I were at Friday's or something having dinner.  This was during the period where Garth and I were "working" on things.  I am quoting 'working' because it was not really that.  You see, in this period Garth and I had agreed to not speak or see Ray or Nikki.  Well, Garth really didn't follow through with that.  I believe it was the night before my dinner with Katy and Shannon that I was on the phone with Garth and Nikki had just swung by his house at 1am.  He could not just tell her to leave him alone and let him figure things out - and well, I was just at my wits end.  So, anyway - back to the story.  We were sitting at our table and the girls were talking about stuff - random stuff - movies, music - whatever.  And for some reason I just could not stay focused on what they were talking about.  I could not think about anything other than my current situation.  It was all consuming.  I was exhausted of my life revolving around all of the drama that had been going on.  I just could not take it anymore.  I was so tired of it all.  I stopped the girls conversation and we began to discuss, once more, all of the drama that came along with my marriage.  I felt bad interrupting the conversation for, yet again, my stupid marriage - but the girls understood.  We talked and talked about how frustrated I was.  I just wanted to scream.  We left the restaurant and got into Katy's car.  Shannon put a song on and said that this song reminded her of Garth and I.  I took one listen and it was right then that I decided to just - be done.  That his inability to put aside one thing for some sort of resolution with another was his decision and that I just needed to bow out.

So I did.

Here's the song.