That exhaustion I was talking about - and those deep sighs.  Yea, not exhaustion.  Type 1 diabetes, rather.  *sigh - this year has been too much.

Last week I went into the ER thinking I was having an asthma attack, when indeed, I was having a case of Ketoacidosis.  My sugar was sky high, and if I had fallen asleep that night, I may have not woken up the next morning.  I was in ICU for some days, then in recovery.  Needless to say - I am insulin dependent now.  I also have hypo-thyroid.  So I am on meds for that now, as well.  Not to mention that the day after I got out of the hospital my mother's best friends daughter died from the cancer she has been battling since January.  This year has been too much. 

We just got home from the viewing.  Tomorrow is the funeral.  I was not thinking tonight and didn't really realize that it would be a weird little high school reunion at this viewing.  Bizarre.  I just feel horrible for the family and for my mom.  This year.... *sigh.........

I am trying to get use to administering my own shots 4 times a day and the feeling of being on insulin.  My vision is blurry and it is hard to focus.  If I pass all of my classes this semester I will be proud of myself.  It is very hard to concentrate.  I have good days and bad.  I am barely working and just struggling to keep my shit together.

I nearly had a melt down at the funeral tonight.  I really just feel so out of control.  We had to push back our vacation and that really sucks.  The good part is that we're probably going to go in January when we may need it the most.  I am sure Christmas will be a rough one without Dominic.  How much is one person suppose to handle?  I am starting to feel like I'm going to crumble to bits.

And so here's a song I have fallen in love with as of recently.  It's the best and I love singing along to it.